at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
