yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
