please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
