Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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