weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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