I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
