Is it normal to miss your booty call?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
