Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
