Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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