I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Can you bring me the toilet please
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
