She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
