therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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