He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
