she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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