if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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