Barsexuality is the new black.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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