oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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