3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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