Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
