piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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