summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
