physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
