did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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