fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
