i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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