Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I still have a little drunk in my system
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
