im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
