He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
