I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
