i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
