I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
