Swine flu is the new snow day.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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