I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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