Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Need sex. Gaining weight.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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