So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I didn't notice because vodka
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
