Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
