So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
