I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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