I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
