I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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