If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
