it was like eating out sand paper
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
