I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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