if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
