her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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