Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize