He uses pillows to masturbate.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
