hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
