pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
