I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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