so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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