Cold hands, warm shart.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
