Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize