Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
