So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
