I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My cat gives me a boner
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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