I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I need a hoe opinion
go on
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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