Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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