guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
