your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
