spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
