I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
