OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
