I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
