Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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