grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
