i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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