We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
